Blogging About Communication

A recent New Yorker cartoon presented two partners preparing to go out. One partner requested the other partner not to speak to them at home because they wanted to be sure they had plenty to talk about when they got to dinner. The partner was insecure about their conversational abilities. What kind of conversationalist are you? Are you confident when it comes to engaging others in conversation? What can you to do to improve your conversational skills?

Conversation Provides the Social Glue For Our Relationships

Conversation lays the foundation for our relationships. They reinforce and nurture rapport with others. One of the most important skills for us to master is how to carry on a good conversation. This requires that we commit to being fully present and sharing real life experiences.

Questions Drive Conversation

Good conversation begins with one person asking an open-ended question and then listening actively to the other person’s answer. By asking how, what, why questions, you encourage more than a yes-no response. Then to show your genuine interest in what the other person says, reflect on their response, rephrasing it, and asking a follow-up question.

Share Relatable Stories

Although a good conversationalist avoids talking excessively about themselves, they do know how to tell a story another person can relate to. They find common ground, connecting with the other person, and keeping the conversation flowing.

Demonstrate Empathy

Good conversationalists validate the feelings of the person they are speaking with. They speak from a place of sincerity, which enables them to create a deeper and more meaningful connection. Using verbal and nonverbal cues, they let another person know that they are listening and understand them.

Conversation is Reciprocal

Conversations are not monologues. They are duologues helping to create a shared world. This requires turn-taking. Remember, meaningful social exchanges help talk our relationships into being.

ACTION PLAN

When you improve your conversation, you improve your relationships and life. Follow the following guidelines to make your next conversation more effective:

(1) Speak honestly; never offer a comment you believe to be false.

(2) Don’t talk too much or too little; provide responses that continue the conversation.

(3) Don’t switch topics until the other person is ready; being other-oriented helps the other person feel understood.