Blogging About Communication

When conversing with another person, we often think about what to say and how to say it. Do we do the same when we speak with ourselves? How much do you enjoy and profit from self-talk conversations? What kind of self-talk speaker and listener are you?

WHAT SELF-TALK IS

Self-talk is that inner voice that provides you with a running commentary on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is your speaking-self having a conversation with your listening-self. It is intrapersonal dialogue, helping you to process your feelings and interactions. Like all feedback, self-talk can be positive or critical, encouraging or demotivating, and because it narrates your experiences and reactions, it significantly affects your next thoughts and moves.

MANAGING SELF-TALK

Self-talk helps us process, monitor, and assess our relationships and the events occurring around us. Positive self-talk is known to improve mood, increase confidence, and improve performance. It also helps in combatting those negative thoughts and feelings that impede resiliency and the development of an optimistic outlook. Replacing negative self-talk with words that are encouraging and don’t dwell on failure, increases the likelihood of overcoming challenges. Telling yourself, “I got this,” “I can do this,” “I can fix this,” or “I’m learning” enables you to focus on stepping up and performing better.

TALK TO YOURSELF OUTLOUD, TOO

When your inner voice speaks to you, does it chatter away silently and in private or out-loud? Might there be a benefit to actually speaking your words aloud when you talk to yourself? What we say to ourselves out loud helps control the harshness of self-doubt that often accompanies self-criticism. Speaking out loud to yourself helps to tame your worst instincts, facilitating your reframing negative thoughts into a determination to put in greater effort to achieve a positive outcome. Speaking aloud to yourself improves focus and performance, helps you better organize your thoughts, consider different perspectives, and also calms your nerves.

YOUR ACTION PLAN

Never say to yourself what you wouldn’t say to someone else. Instead, be your own best friend. When you find yourself caught in a negative thought pattern, substitute a more realistic alternative, perhaps a positive affirmation such as, “I faced a setback, but I’m going to learn from this.”