Blogging About Communication

Praise is a relationship booster. And yet, we regularly underestimate its importance. Whether you’re in class, at work, or chatting, giving and receiving praise can transform the relationship. Done right, praise builds confidence and trust, and makes people more eager to show up and exceed performance expectations. But there are some rules to follow for praise to do its thing.

WHEN GIVING PRAISE, SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT

Great praise is specific (Zero in on what you’re praising, spotlight what someone did well); authentic (It should sound natural, not forced); and timely (Give praise when the moment still matters).

WHEN RECEIVING PRAISE, DON’T DUCK DOWN

If you deflect praise, you run the risk of shutting it down. Instead, when being praised, accept it (“Thank you, that means a lot”), own it (“I really tried hard”), and reflect on it (“Here’s what I learned. . .).

PRAISE IS CONTAGEOUS

When a person is praised, they feel valued, and are more likely to repeat the behavior they are being praised for. They also are apt to pass the praise on to someone else who’s worthy.

KEEP IT REAL

Praise should be a recognition of a person’s real strengths. Avoid over-the-top exaggerations, worthless flattery, and praising someone whether they deserve it or not.

ACTION PLAN: Give and Get Praise Where Praise is Due

Get together with a person who in your eyes merits praise. Tell them specifically what they did well, and why it matters.

Ask someone you’re with, “What’s one thing you think I do well when we’re together?” When they respond, don’t deflect the response. Simply say, “Thank You.”

Reflect on what it feels like to give praise and get praise.  Which do you find harder?