Blogging About Communication

Remember the game of “hot potato?” Well, we often treat conflict like it’s a hot potato. We panic when we think there’s no one left for us to pass the conflict to. We worry that we’ll be the one left holding it.

Why We Rush to Pass Conflict Along

Experiencing conflict makes many of us feel uncomfortable. As a result, when it occurs—we try to get rid of it—like we do a hot potato. How do we do this? We avoid handling it. We blame someone else. We become defensive. We might even send “K” as a message. Instead of focusing on and cooling down the hot potato, we toss it on. Here’s the tricky part. When left unresolved, conflict grows.

The Best Communicators Don’t Throw the Potato

Strong communicators pause before responding to a conflict. Instead of tossing the conflict away, they listen. They take time to ask questions. They clarify confusion. They calm down, and then they continue. Strong communicators are capable of handling a hot potato without panicking. When it’s well handled, conflict improves our relationships. Friends become stronger. Families become more compassionate. Teams become smarter.

Cool Down the Potato

A calm person controls the conflict. They might say something like: “Can we talk about what just happened?” “Help me understand your perspective.” “I think we may have misunderstood each other.”

Action Plan

The next time you feel the urge to “pass the hot potato of conflict” off of your plate and on to someone else’s, try this: Pause for 5 seconds. Take a cleansing breath. Ask yourself “Will my reaction cool things down or heat them up?” Then respond calmly, rather than become emotional. You just might discover that the best way to win the game of hot potato is to stop throwing it.