Blogging About Communication

Remember playing the game of hopscotch? All that was needed was a piece of chalk, a small rock, and a stretch of sidewalk, and we were occupied for hours. After drawing the hopscotch court, we’d simply toss the marker, hop from square to square, wobble on one foot, and then begin anew after we stepped on a line or landed on the wrong spot. Fast forward to today. As it turns out, playing hopscotch taught us a number of relationship lessons.

Every Relationship Begins at Square 1

You don’t win hopscotch by jumping straight to the last square. You begin by targeting the first square. Relationships work the same way. Whether you’re making a new friend, joining a new workplace team, or getting to know a neighbor, trust grows with each right step. It’s with small consistent actions that we build acquaintanceships into meaningful relationships. The first time you say, ”hi there” to someone you just met may seem insignificant, but it’s the square that gets things started.

Balance Trumps Quickness

Playing hopscotch taught us that maintaining our balance was more important than our speed. Relationships benefit from balance too. Giving and receiving need to be in sync. Knowing when to offer advice and when to simply be present, when to speak and when to listen, are skills we pick up by practicing. Sometimes the strongest relationship skill is knowing how to keep your footing when you or another person are having a difficult day.

We All Land on Lines

Even the foot of the best hopscotch player occasionally would come down on a line. Sometimes we stomp on relationship lines too. We say the wrong thing. We interrupt when we should be paying attention. We send a text that’s harsher than we meant it to be. None of us is perfect. But we can recover. When we missed a square in hopscotch, we kept on going. We picked up the rock, laughed it off, and tried again.

We Take Turns

Playing hopscotch taught us to be patient. When it was one player’s turn, the rest of us would watch, cheer them on, celebrate their successes, and wait for our turn to come. Waiting your turn isn’t passive. Along with encouraging others when they miss, it’s one of the most important acts of respect you can offer another person. Relationships aren’t races to the finish line. They are about offering others our support and learning from our missteps.

Action Plan

Draw a hopscotch board on a piece of paper. Write one relationship building act in each square. For example:

*Smile first

*Ask a thoughtful question

*Listen without interjecting

*Express encouragement

*Offer help without it being requested

As you consider each square, choose a person to practice that skill with this week. Keep a record of how people respond. In short order, you’ll notice how your relationships are beginning to feel different.