Having an AI friend can feel right. The AI is always available, doesn’t interrupt you, and remembers everything you say. And unlike a friend, AI won’t suggest it doesn’t have time for you right now, telling you that you’ll need to talk to it about what’s on your mind later. But here’s the rub: AI isn’t really your friend. This doesn’t mean chatting with an AI bot is automatically off limits. But should your “friendship” with an AI begin replacing human friendship, be on guard for complications.
WHY IT CAN FEEL GOOD TO HAVE AN AI FRIEND
Human friendship requires work. Real friends may misunderstand you or fail to text you back. They might disagree with you or become distracted. Chatbots are different. They converse whenever you want to. They offer you encouragement. They can simulate empathy. You know what they can’t do though? They can’t actually experience concern, affection, loyalty or that magic word, friendship. They are not good substitutes for the emotional support that one human can provide to another.
WHAT IF THE AI BECOMES A REPLACEMENT?
Imagine someone who feels anxious about meeting others. If they turn to AI when they want to talk instead of to a person, they actually can find it increasingly harder to engage in person-to-person interaction. Why? Because they get out of practice, potentially increasing their feelings of anxiousness and depression. AI can make you feel connected, but without delivering mutual care and actual belonging, where does that connection take you?
IT’S BETTER TO MAKE AI THE WINGMAN, NOT YOUR BFF
Use AI to practice turning towards people, not away from them. Use it to rehearse introducing yourself to someone, practice making small-talk, and coming up with questions you might ask to deepen a friendship. Then turn off the AI, and seek the company of an actual human being.
ACTION PLAN
For three days, keep track of the times you turn to AI for companionship or personal advice. Match each AI conversation with a person-to-person interaction. For example, if you ask AI for relationship advice, ask a trusted friend for their perspective too. If you rehearse a conversation with AI, have the real conversation with a person. At the end of three days, consider which of the conversations made you feel genuinely connected afterward. Connection becomes meaningful when two individuals gradually learn how to respond to one another. And that’s a very human skill!
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