WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE YOU’’RE WORKING THE ROOM
You’re about enter a reception, conference, networking, or campus event. People are already talking. Some of those present seem to know everyone. You know three people: the person who invited you, the person at the welcome table, and you. Although the phrase “work the room” can seem calculating, as if your mission was to collect contacts, working the room is actually about starting conversations, making others feel comfortable, and creating connections—and to do this without screens. Here’s how.
Don’t Merely Walk In, ARRIVE!
Enter the room without a phone in your hand. Give the room your full attention. Look around. Make eye-contact. Notice who’s there. Your goal is to meet three people you don’t already know. Instead of asking yourself, “Who should I meet?” ask yourself, “Who can I make feel welcome?” Approach someone standing alone, someone who’s also just entered, or a small group and introduce yourself.
Never Start With, “So, What Do You Do?
It’s such a predictable question. Instead, use conversation probes: “How do you know the host?” “What brings you here tonight?” “What are you working on or involved with that you’re excited about?
Rely on the 40/60 Rule and Nonverbal Cues
Be sure to listen more than you speak. Speak about 40 percent of the time. Listen at least 60 percent of the time. Ask a question. Digest the answer. Ask a follow-up question. Repeat. Face each person you’re with. Maintain comfortable eye-contact. Display an open posture.
Become a Connector
Let’s say you meet Wally who’s interested in environmental issues. Then you come across Joanne who’s working on a sustainability project. Connect them. Don’t work the work, but help the room work. Make a useful introduction and others will remember you.
Transition Gracefully
When it’s time to move on, don’t make an excuse, but excuse yourself saying, “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. I’m going to circulate a bit, but I’m really glad we’ve met.” Follow up with “Let’s stay in touch.” Working a room isn’t about dominating the room. It is about making the room easier for other people to enjoy.
ACTION PLAN
At the next campus, work, or community event you attend, challenge yourself to make three new connections. For each person:
Open without asking, “What do you do?”
Discover one interesting thing about the person by asking a follow-up question.
Connect by looking for someone you share in common or finding someone else who shares the same interest
Exit without merely drifting away
Follow up by suggesting another opportunity to continue the discussion or within 24 hours sending the person a message referring to something you chatted about.
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